18 July 1997
Bobb'e J. Thompson
Lamilton Taeshawn is an 8 year-old Afro-American juvenile delinquent. He is very malicious and says that he enjoys doing bad and unhealthy things. He abuses his grandmother and other people. He does not care for anyone, not even himself. He is even believed to be the 'anti-Christ'. Lamilton was voiced by Bobb'e J. Tomphson.
He made his first, last, and only appearance was in "Smokin With Cigarettes ". He was taken into therapy by Dr. Doomis when he was 5 because of his sociopathic tendencies and his behavior did not improve. Doomis described him as having black lifeless eyes like a doll's, and even said he might be the anti-Christ.
Much later, he was released despite the insistence that he be locked up. Upon his release, he steals his grandmother's car and invites Riley to join him which he does and offers him a cigarette which he is addicted to. He goes on a rampage and nearly hits many people before he eventually runs out of gas where he is interviewed by the press and he has no regrets. Later his grandmother forces him to apologize to the Freeman's for endangering Riley where she explains his background and how his parents and cousins were abusive to him and each other. Granddad finds the story boring so he forces them to leave.
The next day, he is caught assaulting his grandmother at a Walli-Mart because she told him he couldn't have any fried chicken and he is interviewed again, having no regrets. He later invites Riley to pull a bunch of pranks on the townspeople including, causing car pileups by throwing things from a highway pass and causing them to crash, spraying them with a mixture of urine and hotsauce, and upturning a port-a-potty with a construction man inside.
After that, he invites him over to his house to watch horror movies that are very graphic. Riley finds them disgusting and asks why he likes them he responds that he likes seeing people get hurt and die, and Riley begins to feel uncomfortable around him so he decides to leave before he does he show him his grandmother's gun and Riley tells him to put it away. Later that night he tells Riley to help him rob an old lady's house so he can get more guns and her attack dog jumps out at them and Riley tries to tell him to leave before they get caught but he shoots the dog killing it which he claims was in self defense despite it being tied up.
Dr. Doomis, who had been following them, calls the cops for Lamilton's killing of the dog but he gets released later that da. He then begins to stalk Riley and waits outside until his class is over and he confronts him about supposedly snitching on him and tells him that he will kill him for it, and Riley convinces him that it was wrong and that he will be friends again. Once Lamilton has his back turned walks away a bit, Riley tackles him and takes the gun from him and runs up to the school's rooftop where he follows him and Riley throws the gun off the roof so he won't use it again, and Riley asks him what he is going to do now and in response. Lamilton attacks him and starts to beat him up and attempts to strangle him to death, Uncle Ruckus stops by to investigate, but since they are black, he doesn't care and tells them to proceed killing each other. Using this distraction, Riley defends himself-fights back and gains the upper hand eventually knocking Lamilton off the roof. Riley grabs a hold of his hand and Lamilton then apologizes for everything he did and tells him to pull him back up. Riley tries to and struggles and he tells him he's too fat and overweight. Huey, Granddad, and Dr. Doomis arrive at the scene and Doomis makes Riley drop Lamilton apparently causing him to fall to his death. Riley feels bad for it and Doomis tells him "he deserved to die". At that moment, Granddad points out that his body is gone, but then notices him limping away and Doomis is horrified that he survived and leaps off the school roof and on top of Lamilton-he survives this too and tries to fight Doomis off threatening to call the police. It is unknown what happened to him after that as he is never seen or heard again.
- Lamilton is based on the real-life young delinquent named "Latarian Milton", the 7 year old who stole his grandmother's SUV and went for a joyride, quotes such as "I like to do bad things" and "my friend who smokes wit cigawettes" are spoken by both Lamilton and Latarian.
- Latarian Milton was also featured on an episode of the Comedy Central show Tosh.0 in a segment called web redemption, in which he got to explain the day he stole his Grandmother's SUV.
- Lamilton's character is a reference to the movie character "Michael Myers" from the Halloween series due to having a "pure evil" personality and his doctor casually named "Doomis" (which is also a reference to Michael's doctor: "Loomis") talking about Lamilton having "black lifeless eyes" while Loomis says that Michael has "the blackest eyes, the devil's eyes. And him limping away after supposedly dying.
- Lamilton was lying about having total disregard for the law and himself, as shown after Riley catches from falling off the roof, he begs Riley to save him and reveals that he has problems with his anger and that he doesn't want to die, and when Dr. Doomis attacks him he begs someone to call his grandmother and reminds him of their 100 yard restraining order.
- His grandmother claims that Lamilton isn't really a bad child as his attitude was caused by witnessing domestic abuse between his parents and other relatives at a young age, his mother drinking heavily and his father losing his job. She claims that there was a lot of tension in his home.
- When he is asked about his age by Dr. Doomis, he says he's 6 years old, but the anchor on the newscast states that he is 8 years old.