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Zortafrinex

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Zort

Robert holding a Zortafrinex pill.

Zortafrinex is an anti-anxiety drug seen in the episode "Mr. Medicinal". Robert Freeman was prescribed this drug to reduce his stress, but after watching a commercial which listed many horrible side effects, he threw it away and decided to use marijuana instead.

Side effects

According to the TV commercial:

Women, pregnant women, and most men should not take Zortafrinex. Known side-effects include dry mouth, upset stomach, mild death, blindness, massive heart attack, difficulty breathing, and rectal fungus. Almost all men who took Zortafrinex experienced a severe loss in sexual performance; this is normal. Please stop taking Zortafrinex immediately if you feel mild discomfort on or in testicles, as this can be a sign of a rare and extremely unpleasant side-effect known as Total Scrotal Implosion. If Total Scrotal Implosion should occur, call your doctor right away. If you cannot move or talk due to the debilitating pain of Total Scrotal Implosion, please have a loved one call your doctor. There is no cure for Total Scrotal Implosion.

Appearances

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